Poetry Archiving Part 3

Again a poem from late 2008

"Soon I'll Apologize" by Ethan M.

Isn’t that reality?
She’s such a cold-hearted bitch
Can I continue to ignore her and the truth she has left?

While I whine at the table you run about
And I cannot help but visualize my world without-
Stop!

That’s her again, and I must realize
Things can’t just change in a night
And perhaps I’m the one who needs to change

I need to appreciate all I have gained
While I criticize others for their vanity
I hypocritically look in the mirror and see

A life without you, without them
Without me, I’m elsewhere, in the middle
And I’m finally happy

It is twisted and wrong to want what I need
Maybe in a year I could potentially change
I’ll see you for what you are

Perhaps I’ll accept it too
In the meanwhile it is easier for me
to complain about you

They are ignorant
I am jealous
You are innocent
I know who is truly at fault

But scapegoats are far to easy to come by

Poetry Archiving Part 2

Written in late 2008

"You Can't Always Choose" by Ethan M.

Have I ever mentioned that I bleed green
When I see you people with your perfect sheen

And all you can do is simply downplay
While I marvel and wonder what it is I’m missing

Count two, three, four, sometimes more
Glistening smiles that often speak opposite words

Put me amongst you, but not to invade
I just want to get a taste of that life for a day

Your spontaneous photos I stare at for hours
Hurt and angry that I’ll never understand

My envy comes in waves
And the demon inside, makes me cry

And I hate that you can’t love
What you so blatantly have

In a future I imagined a time
When my children wouldn’t have to hide

They’d have what I’ve wanted
And resent me all the same

But they won’t feel the pain that I’ve felt for so many days
They’ll appreciate it all, because when you’re old, the truth becomes clear

To have someone keeps everything real

So get over your coordinated little fights
And know who will stay with you
During the darkest of nights

My jealousy may be a sin
But your ignorance is worse

I’ll love you the same though
Just like them
When the time is right

Because for better or worse
You’re better together
And I’m just on the outside looking in

Poetry Archiving

Older piece, written in early 2008.

"The Way Water Flows" by Ethan M.

Have you ever stood and wondered about the way water flows;

from the clouds, back to the ground,

through the Red Sea, and over waves.

But did you look as the water

flowed off your body onto your shower’s floor?

And as it flowed it had no control

of where it was to go. But you

shouldn’t be jealous because even without control

water still flows where you want it to go;

to the bottom of the sea to hide in darkness

or into the sky to bask in the heavens.

When I pound on your locked bathroom door

And can only here the drugs talk back, I know

you’re like the water conforming to a

different container, and as your mind explodes

I begin to loath you and who you believe

you have become.

I wish you could see that the water flows where only it can go;

deep in the ocean or within the clouds.

And you aren’t like the water.

You have control.

You know where you want to flow;

down the drain to a home, different than your own.

As you lay on your shower’s floor.

Water running off your body.

I’d like you to know,

I don’t want you to go,

where only the water can flow.