Poetry Archiving Part 2

Written in late 2008

"You Can't Always Choose" by Ethan M.

Have I ever mentioned that I bleed green
When I see you people with your perfect sheen

And all you can do is simply downplay
While I marvel and wonder what it is I’m missing

Count two, three, four, sometimes more
Glistening smiles that often speak opposite words

Put me amongst you, but not to invade
I just want to get a taste of that life for a day

Your spontaneous photos I stare at for hours
Hurt and angry that I’ll never understand

My envy comes in waves
And the demon inside, makes me cry

And I hate that you can’t love
What you so blatantly have

In a future I imagined a time
When my children wouldn’t have to hide

They’d have what I’ve wanted
And resent me all the same

But they won’t feel the pain that I’ve felt for so many days
They’ll appreciate it all, because when you’re old, the truth becomes clear

To have someone keeps everything real

So get over your coordinated little fights
And know who will stay with you
During the darkest of nights

My jealousy may be a sin
But your ignorance is worse

I’ll love you the same though
Just like them
When the time is right

Because for better or worse
You’re better together
And I’m just on the outside looking in